October 2007
Before I went to India I had 3 clear intentions:
1 To go to the school in Varanasi (Benares), set up by Dan, Jess & Josh, that helps the street kids of Varnasi to gain an education. To see more about their aims and objectives please visit their website: www.basichumanneeds.net.
I had raised £200 in cash to take to the school, that I wanted to hand over personally. I had been communicating with Jess by email and discovered that the kids needed pants, socks, art supplies and good quality children’s story books. I went to Asda and filled my trolley with packs of socks and pants from ages 2-12. I had every size required for boys and girls. This was my personal contribution to the fund. There was so much available in the art supplies and children’s books, that I decided it would be better if I waited until I had visited the school to find out a more exact description for what would be needed. The £200 actually paid for the complete running of the school for a week, including feeding the kids and paying the teachers' wages. If you can spare any money whatsoever they would be so grateful! You can make a donation bt logging onto my webite: www.intuitionandrays.co.uk
2 To visit the Taj Mahal. My interest in this monument was more than mere curiosity. Whilst working with the Rays I had discovered that the Master of the 2nd Ray: Kuthumi, had a previous incarnation as the Shah Jahan. The Shah had this beautiful monument designed and built in memory of his beloved wife Mumtaz, who died in childbirth with their 14th child. I wanted to go and experience this beauty for myself.
Nothing could have prepared me for the feeling of awe at the first sight of this magnificent memorial of Love.
As we were guided around the building and its grounds the story unfolded. The Taj Mahal was built in perfect symmetry from a beautiful white marble embedded with semi-precious stones from all over Asia:
The work was so intricate, that it is estimated that it took 20,000 craftsmen to complete over a period of 22 years. The building is also covered in Koranic calligraphy chiselled out of black marble.
3 To go to Dharmshala. Known as ‘the Little Lhasa in India’. Headquarters of the Dalai Lama, when he is in residence.
http://www.pbase.com/digitalfestival/image/55499052
Unfortunately, due to the illness that descended upon us, leaving us too weak to concentrate on what we were being told, we were led astray by dubious characters who were professing to be agents of the Indian Government. We didn’t get to Dharmshala. I have since learnt that this is very wide spread in India. It seems that the best way is to get to your preferred destination is to make friends with someone in India who can make arrangements on your behalf.
It seems that intentions can go astray if you are under par and unable to focus on what you would really like…. A very hard lesson learnt.
So, what did I get out of my trip to this colourful and often less than fragrant country?
I learnt to say ‘No!’ This is something that I have been in the process of learning for a very long time. But, the worm has turned. Something that I previously found very difficult is now so much easer for me to do. I’m not suggesting that you visit India in order to do this for yourself, by any means! We all have our own ways of finding things out and learning various lessons. This was mine. There were so many people selling their wares in a real ‘in your face’ way, that I had enough of it. By all means offer your goods and services, but in a way that is pleasing to the buyer – a way that doesn’t make them feel that they have to buy your goods, or else! Some of the conniving sales people that we met were total fear-mongers. I didn’t agree with this, and I bought nothing from them. I much preferred to buy goods that I really liked and wanted from people who honoured my right of choice.
I also found that questioning something that you don’t agree with is a good way of getting what you do want. I didn’t realize, until then, how much I do question things. I am now aware of this personal quirk, and am very grateful for it. There are times that we would have, and sometimes did, accept less than best, because of a failure to question the details. Another lesson well learnt!
I learnt that people have their own ways of doing things, no matter what I feel about these ways I have no right to try to change them. They are who they are as a simple expression of their true beings. Just as I now understand myself, and my own motives, much more clearly. I also learnt that no-one else has the right to make me change who I intrinsically am.
I learnt to express myself instead of boiling inside with emotions that I would previously have kept inside, to keep the peace. If I felt I was being cheated or conned, or whatever, I said what I felt – hopefully in a non-offensive way. But sometimes we just have to be really true to our gut feelings and allow what is being brought up for us to be released. If the people we are with are our true friends they will honour that need in us. If they are not, bless them and walk away.
I think a major lesson was in learning that when you are not well, allow yourself to fully recover before making important decisions. We were being very well cared for, by a lovely family in Varanasi, as well as great company from Dan, Josh and Shivam (Dan and Jess’s soon to be adopted Indian son). In hindsight it would have been far better to have waited until we were well enough to continue our journey. A very painful lesson indeed!
This is the lovely lady of the house that we stayed in, in Varanasi. She made me pots of ginger and lemon tea to help me to recover. Nothing was too much for her. Even though we couldn’t speak the same language, she was such a God-send. One way or another we understood each other. I was very sad to say goodbye to her and her family.
I came back from my trip to India a very different person. I am no longer afraid of confronting situations or people. Thank you India for helping me to be my true self, and enabling me to stand in my power, without fear.
Sue Fraser
27th October 2007